Nationality Jokes

Q: Why wasn't Christ born in Alabama?

A: Where the F$@# would they find three wise men and a virgin?

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Q: What's the difference between a Kiwi and an Ozzy?

A: Any Ozzy can shag a sheep, but it takes a kiwi to make one smile.

Q: You know how a Kiwi makes a sheep smile?

A: We walk up to one and just before we shag it ...we don't! The sheer relief on that sheep's face, I tell you!

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A man is out walking in New York when he sees a girl being savaged by a fierce dog.
He fights off the vicious dog: getting mauled and savagely bitten, until he eventually chokes it to death it with his bare hands - saving the girl's life.
The girl's mother rushes over to him: "Thank you, thank you, you are a hero! Tomorrow all the newspapers will have the headline: "Brave New Yorker Saves Young Girl from Savage Dog"
"But I'm not a New Yorker," the man says.
"Oh, then it will say in all the newspapers: "Brave American Saves Life of Young Girl," says the mother.
"But I'm not an American," the man says.
"What are you then?" asks the mother.
"I'm an Iranian," the man says.
The next day he sees the newspaper headlines:
"Islamic Extremist Kills American Dog."

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A french guy walks into a bar with a frog growing out of the top of his head and orders a light chardonnay and a jack daniels, straight up. The barman, curious, serves the drinks, points at the guy's head and asks, "what the hell is that?

" I dunno," answers the frog as he knocks back the shot of jack "...It started as a wart on my arse."

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A Chinese man came home after a late night of drinking, and crawls in bed next to his sleeping wife.
After lying awake for a few minutes, he wakes up his wife and says "Hey honey, how 'bout a sixty-nine?
"Well, you've got a lot of nerve !. First you come home late, you're drunk, and now you expect me to go to the kitchen and fix you Mongolian beef with snow-peas !"

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Kiwi to a redneck American: How do you give a woman an orgasm?

Redneck American back: Who F%@&'n cares?

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